On my ever-growing list of things to do for the wedding, actually inviting people was not among the copious tasks written in caps, highlighted in bold or even underlined with a biro.
Having sent out a save the date several months ago and spoken directly to at least half of the daytime guest list about their plans for how to get there/where to stay/what to wear I had – somewhat naively it turned out – assumed that once the invitations went out all we would have to contend with would be a flurry of excited yeses and perhaps the odd musing on dress choice.
But, my goodness, was I wrong. Firstly, getting hold of the invitations was a saga matched only by that of choosing the venue in terms of time and energy lost. Arguments about making them ourselves (something I was dead against given the time involved and the fact that it really wasn't much cheaper), fear that we'd left it too late to order what we wanted (some places said it would be eight weeks before we'd have them) and a convoluted and unnecessarily unpleasant exchange with Confetti over the fact that it took more than a month before we received the invites and that they were then not even the same size or colour as the sample and came with envelopes which were half glued shut (no apology or recompense for any of that by the way – don't shop at Confetti).
But the real stress has actually come from our guests. Fall-out from the no-children policy, whispers on the family grapevine that certain people can't be bothered to come and also, it would seem, can't be bothered to tell us they aren't, heated exchanges over who gets a room and why so-and-so has to get one if so-and-so-other does, it just goes on and on. Every day for the past week I've wanted to call the whole thing off – and we haven't even got to the table plan yet.
Don't get me wrong, I really, really want the 60 or so people we've invited to share our big day with us to come – and to enjoy themselves so much their feet and heads both ache the next day. But – and forgive me if this sounds selfish – weddings really aren't about the guests. Weddings are about the bride and groom and the fact that they have decided to stand up and publicly agree to spend the rest of their lives together. And I'd be saying that whether it was me marching down the aisle or not. Of course we've thought in great depth about our guests and the logistics they're facing but ultimately we have to go with the wedding that's right for us – I just hope people will understand. And that those yeses will start rolling in.
Having sent out a save the date several months ago and spoken directly to at least half of the daytime guest list about their plans for how to get there/where to stay/what to wear I had – somewhat naively it turned out – assumed that once the invitations went out all we would have to contend with would be a flurry of excited yeses and perhaps the odd musing on dress choice.
But, my goodness, was I wrong. Firstly, getting hold of the invitations was a saga matched only by that of choosing the venue in terms of time and energy lost. Arguments about making them ourselves (something I was dead against given the time involved and the fact that it really wasn't much cheaper), fear that we'd left it too late to order what we wanted (some places said it would be eight weeks before we'd have them) and a convoluted and unnecessarily unpleasant exchange with Confetti over the fact that it took more than a month before we received the invites and that they were then not even the same size or colour as the sample and came with envelopes which were half glued shut (no apology or recompense for any of that by the way – don't shop at Confetti).
But the real stress has actually come from our guests. Fall-out from the no-children policy, whispers on the family grapevine that certain people can't be bothered to come and also, it would seem, can't be bothered to tell us they aren't, heated exchanges over who gets a room and why so-and-so has to get one if so-and-so-other does, it just goes on and on. Every day for the past week I've wanted to call the whole thing off – and we haven't even got to the table plan yet.
Don't get me wrong, I really, really want the 60 or so people we've invited to share our big day with us to come – and to enjoy themselves so much their feet and heads both ache the next day. But – and forgive me if this sounds selfish – weddings really aren't about the guests. Weddings are about the bride and groom and the fact that they have decided to stand up and publicly agree to spend the rest of their lives together. And I'd be saying that whether it was me marching down the aisle or not. Of course we've thought in great depth about our guests and the logistics they're facing but ultimately we have to go with the wedding that's right for us – I just hope people will understand. And that those yeses will start rolling in.
