Venue chosen!

After spending the last two weekends chasing around Hertfordshire and Essex in circles and getting to know the A1 intimately we had only one place to go this Saturday. Yep, after much deliberation (well, at least on my part, Doug was sold from first glance!) we've booked our wedding venue.

If you've been reading this blog over the past week or two you won't be in the least bit surprised to learn that it's Coltsfoot - in the end there really wasn't much competition. Of the nine venues we visited, three (Theobalds Park, Shendish Manor and Tewin Bury Farm) took themselves out of the running straight away because there would be another wedding on site at the same time, and after seeing venues with accommodation we decided to discount those that didn't have bedrooms within stumbling distance of the bar - which meant Gaynes Park, the Hertfordshire and Priory Barn were out. So, that only left Fanhams Hall, Ponsbourne Park and Coltsfoot.

Of these only Coltsfoot was totally exclusive - and a barn, which was what we'd always had in mind. So, apart from my umming and ahhing over whether there was somewhere even more perfect out there, the decision was really made as we pulled out of the car park. As we'd seen so many places so quickly we had to go back to check we were sure it was perfect for us but there's just something so right about the atmosphere there, and the couple who will be overseeing our day (Jenny and Richard) are easily the friendliest people we've dealt with. We chatted about the details over a pot of tea by the roaring fire in the bar and in the end there just wasn't any doubt in our minds; we were left feeling more than happy to hand over the deposit cheque. So, assuming the registrar doesn't throw a red-taped spanner in the works, we will be getting married on May 1 2011.

So all that's left to sort out now is the dress, the food, the music, the flowers....

The venue hunt ends (hopefully)

Thanks to the success of yesterday, today's venue hunt was a bit of a non-starter. Our first appointment was at Tewin Bury Farm, which I had thought might have given our first choice a run for it's money. On the website it looked lovely (and, to be fair, the buildings themselves are) but it was so obviously wrong for us from the get go that we found it difficult to even bother asking the appropriate questions! The issue really is that there are four (yes, four!) different wedding venues here and, we felt, no separation between them. They are so close together and our guests would have rooms around the farm, presumably amongst the guests of the other weddings. There was no guarantee that I wouldn't see the other brides on the day - in fact, I'm almost certain it would be unavoidable, and I've realised that this is something I feel really strongly about. We looked at the Millstream and the Stables but the Millstream was right next to the vast marquee so would be totally overshadowed by the bigger event should there be one in there, and the Stables building was lovely, but not nice enough to combat the fact that it virtually overlooked the Barn's gardens where any guests from a wedding in there would be milling about. I may be wrong, but to us it seemed like a money-spinning machine with scant regard for a bride's special day and I'm sure now that I want a venue at which we're the only wedding that day.
This would be the case at Ponsbourne Park, a place which hadn't wowed with its website or brochure but impressed immediately in reality. Our ceremony here could be outside under the domed circular terrace or inside in the lightest ceremony room we've seen by a mile. The reception room was a lovely traditional manor house-type space which would be the perfect size for us and the bar would remain open for as long as we wanted (one of our main considerations!). The bedrooms were pretty standard hotel rooms but can sleep up to four and were really affordable - although the bridal suite was rather uninspiring - and everything was very much about the personal touch and doing just what we wanted.
Our final venue (of nine, phew!) was Fanhams Hall where we didn't have an appointment but which was hosting a wedding fair. We had to pay £5 which I'm not sure was really necessary but we got a good look around and had a few canapes and a dip in the chocolate fountain. It really is a stunning venue and as we're looking at a Sunday wedding we would be the only bridal couple there that day, giving us free reign of the beautiful formal gardens. The wood-panelled Great Hall (which could be used for both our ceremony and our reception) was straight out of a fairytale and there was a quality feel to the place, including the wonderfully traditional bridal suite - but that big hotel feel was back with a vengeance when the rather stern receptionist started outlining strict minimum numbers and ultimately we just didn't feel it would be worth the higher price. Maybe for a more princess-like bride...
So, we decamped to the pub to deliberate over a roast. Looking back over what we've seen, two venues stand out as being right for us but we can only pick one and in the end we just keep coming back to one above all the others. A few small questions remain about those all-important practicalities but hopefully before this week is out, our venue will be booked - and then the real fun begins!

The venue hunt continues

After a fairly slow start last weekend, we really got to grips with the venue search today. Thanks to the dreary gray weather and an early start it felt a bit more like work than fun, but a sense of achievement is setting in now - and I really think we may have found our venue!

Our first stop was Theobalds Park in Cheshunt. Just ten minutes drive from home and with an impressive website this had seemed like a good option, but it just didn't work any magic in the end. We admittedly approached from the wrong entrance but it just seemed a little tired from the off. The reception is all very modern conference-venue in feel and the greeting we received lacked a lot in warmth and friendliness - not helped by the fact that we hadn't been given the right name of who to meet. The estate has two venues, a Georgian manor house and a more modern barn, and before we arrived we were leaning towards the house. However, although from the outside it looked extremely grand, inside it just didn't live up to first impressions and there were far too many different rooms for our size of wedding. The barn was much better, with rooms arranged around a lovely courtyard, but should the weather be bad our only option for the ceremony was a low-ceilinged, dingy conference room. I can imagine this venue working brilliantly for the right couple but in the end we were put off by the general feel of the place and the lack of care and professionalism shown by the staff - it left me with the feeling that when it comes to weddings, chain hotels are just not the way to go, at least not for us.

Our second venue was the one that on paper had ticked the most boxes. Coltsfoot Country Retreat is more rural than most places on our list, surrounded by acres of fields and reached by a narrow lane, and as it's not a hotel, a conference venue or a golf club in addition to being a wedding venue, we could hire the whole place (including all its bedrooms) exclusively. We arrived half an hour early but the staff were unfazed, bringing us coffee by the log fire and making us feel instantly at home. The reception room itself lacked the spaciousness of some we've seen but more than made up for it in character. The food here also suits us better than many venues with hearty rather than fussy meals for the wedding breakfast and substantial evening canapes like fish and chips instead of a buffet - plus they'll let us drink in the bar until whatever hour we can muster! Having the accommodation on-site is also a major plus and we could allocate the rooms ourselves which would mean having all the people we want near us, near us!

Our next venue, Priory Barn, was equally as rural and could also cater to our food tastes as well as being perhaps the one with the greatest wow-factor. Dating from 1541 it has bags of character with its exposed beams and quaint gardens complete with babbling brook and genuinely did make me gape when I saw it. Despite it being empty (and cold!) owner John gave us a good impression of the high standard of service we could expect if we got married here, talking about the food with clear passion and allaying all my fears about the enormous size of the space. Doug however was not convinced it wouldn't engulf us and the accommodation issue we encountered last week once more raised its awkward head as words like Travelodge and minibus were thrown around. Having seen other venues which have on-site rooms it's hard to let go of how much easier this makes everything and I can now only see this as a major downside.

Finally we visited Shendish Manor, a very grand-looking hotel and golf club which I must admit I didn't have a clear mental picture of before today. It definitely improved on Theobalds Park as grand old houses go but by this point those barns had really worked their way under my skin and I just wasn't so keen on the wood-panelled, traditional feel as I had been. There were some major pluses here - we could get married in an idyllic outdoor setting (depending on the weather), we could go on past midnight with both bar and music and there was exactly the right amount of space for our numbers, but in the end I think it's probably just too much a big hotel, with all the lack of intimacy that suggests.

So, although it may be obvious which of these venues we've provisionally booked, I'm holding my horses on revealing it just yet for fear of it becoming too fixed in our heads as "the one". We have three more to see tomorrow and I really want to keep an open mind. Thing is, I'm told it's like looking for a house - you know when you see it. And I think I know.

The venue hunt begins

After weeks of head-in-the-clouds daydreaming, the wedding plans finally snapped into sharp focus yesterday as the hunt for the perfect venue finally got underway. Somehow, despite dreamily reading a whole stack of wedding magazines over Christmas and visiting what I can only imagine must be dozens of venue websites, I've managed to get to this point without any clear vision of what I want, and beginning the round of visits hasn't made things any clearer.

After de-icing and digging out the car, we drove out through the picturesque, snow-covered Epping Forest to visit Gaynes Park Barns in Essex first. I was really excited about this one having seen their facebook page (here) and our arrival wasn't disappointing. Although slightly hard to imagine a spring wedding with everything covered in snow, the gardens and general setting were obviously lovely and the prospect of walking through the walled garden to make my big entrance had me giddy with excitement.

As we started to delve into the details further however a couple of negative points emerged. Firstly, as it has an indoor barn with mezzanine level and an outdoor barn, is it too big for our 60-odd guests? And more importantly, where is everyone going to stay? The site itself has no accommodation for anyone besides the bride and groom, who stay in a little cottage called the Apple Lodge. Doug has an unshakeable idea that he'll be up all hours drinking port with the boys and while I'm not convinced about that(!), I do have a picture in my mind of everyone having breakfast together the next morning as a finale to the wedding, which I'd have to abandon if we used the Apple Lodge as our accommodation.

Finally, and more spanner-in-the-works still, they don't have availability in May. Our only choice here is to have the wedding on Easter weekend and I suspect that by the time we make a decision to book, that this will be gone, leaving us with a choice between early April (even more hit and miss with the weather) or May 2012, which is head-spinningly far off.

Feeling totally confused, we headed next for The Hertfordshire, a very grand-looking golf club which is closer to home and quite a bit cheaper than Gaynes Park. The major plus with this venue is that food and drink isn't packaged so we can do exactly what we want and won't waste cash on things we don't need. They also won't turf us out as soon as the clock strikes midnight (Gaynes Park will) and have availability for the weekend we want.
There are, naturally, some downsides here as well. The members bar is right alongside the function room so it's not as private as we would like. In fact, knowing what golf club members can be like, a badly timed football match could ruin our reception with rowdiness - and not rowdiness of our own making! Also, the ceremony room, although nice with it's fireplace, just doesn't offer the grand entrance and long sashay up the aisle other venues can. In fact, the main entrance into the building for the bride here is the same as that for anyone using the gym or hairdressers that day - not exactly glamorous!

So, after a morning's venue research I'm left more confuzzled than ever. We really liked both venues for their architecture and setting so I now don't know if I'm more a grand house or a rustic barn bride, but neither was quite right, leaving me panicing that no venue will tick all our boxes.

Am I being too fussy? Do all of these things really matter? And, if there's no such thing as perfect, what should we compromise on?

The dreaded budget

Now that it's 2010 I can actually say I'm getting married "next year" and the preparations are getting all the more real. No more dizzily flicking through the wedding magazine pages for me, it's time to get serious about what we can afford and how.

First back-to-earth-with-a-bump task was the set the budget. The average UK wedding costs something like £20,000 and we're in London so we can more or less count on having to pay the highest prices on everything from the venue hire to the cake. Fortunately however this much-touted £20,000 figure actually includes the engagement ring (paid for) and the honeymoon (a separate budget as travel is so important to us) so the wedding itself is more likely to come in around £16,000, all things being "average", whatever that means.

We've had a lot of help from Doug's parents over the years but luckily we apparently haven't yet exhausted their goodwill so we have a nice substantial contribution to count on from them.

My mum however wants to do things differently and is paying for the dress, which means we can take that gargantuan budget-buster of an expense out of the spreadsheet (I know, a spreadsheet isn't exactly romantic, but this is, apparently, serious business) but not discard it altogether as I'm not entirely sure if her idea of an appropriate amount to spend on this is quite the same as mine.

That just leaves a shortfall of more money than I can bare to think too long about for us to save. Fortunately I've had this in mind for a while so we have a nice headstart but we have other demands on our money which are more important to us (namely an upcoming trip to Peru and a loooooong honeymoon to the States) so this is still likely to be an uphill battle involving cutting back on dinners out, copious drinks and lots of other fun things throughout 2010. Perhaps I'd better put my head back in those mags and remind myself what we're doing this for...